


On the Mend

by ladyhoward



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Also I’m making some characters lgbtq+ byeeeee, Angela Weber being a damn sweetheart, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Building trust, Depression, Depression Recovery, Disordered Eating, Fluff, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gen, Girl Empowerment, Healing, PTSD, Sleepovers, changing the hell out of this canon lol, girl friendships, silliness, your actions have consequences
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 12:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19946101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyhoward/pseuds/ladyhoward
Summary: After the events of New Moon, Bella struggles with her depression, and her feelings of abandonment that continue to be prevalent in her life. With the help of her friends and family, Bella takes it upon herself to start the healing process, while attempting to salvage the relationships that mean the most to her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first ever fic I’ve written! Sick! Here’s to all of my twilight renaissance fam! :) TW at the end notes!

_ “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” _

_ -Karl Geurs and Carter Crocker _

It was the hole in my chest that woke me. The gaping, tearing sensation took my breath away, and replaced it with nothingness. I could feel my fingers twisted in the purple duvet that covered me, clenching so hard that I knew my knuckles must’ve turned a frightening shade of white. I could feel the scream building low in my chest, but before I could release the sound of my distress, cold white hands smoothed back the hair from my face.

“Shh, Bella, Bella,” a musical voice hushed. Edward’s voice. 

My eyes shot open, and met his golden gaze. His perfect face was in agony, harsh lines painting the smoothness of his brow. My breath slowly returned to its normal pace, but my heartbeat was still too fast to be comfortable. 

“It’s fine.” I whispered, unclenching my stiff fingers. His hands quickly covered my own, gently massaging my palms, attempting to soothe some of the ache. 

It had been two weeks since Alice and I had gone to Italy in pursuit of saving Edward. The Volturi had given their ultimatum in order to ensure all of our survival; I was going to become a vampire. Carlisle agreed to change me, and I had the whole family’s approval: apart from Edward and his sister, Rosalie. Charlie had been livid when we came back. He insisted he didn’t harbor any grudge against the rest of the Cullen’s- especially when Alice would visit-just Edward. Edward didn’t blame him, and though I would never say it to Edward, neither did I. 

“What time is it?” I asked groggily, budging my pillows so I could sit up. 

“Just past 6:00 AM.” Edward murmured, still stroking my hands. The pang of panic returned to my chest, and I gently pulled them away. He didn’t protest. 

The warmth when I was around him didn’t disappear. Being away from him for a century couldn’t take that away, but something accompanied the wonder now. Something that paralyzed me with fear every time he kissed me goodnight, or goodbye. Something that screamed to me that I was insufferable and not worth all that had transpired. 

“Breakfast time for the human?“ he teased gently, giving me one of his crooked smiles. I felt a warmth fill my chest at the sight. I giggled lightly. 

“And wake Charlie? Good idea.“ I snorted. He smiled. 

“He left for work around a half an hour ago, we wouldn’t be disturbing anyone.” He spoke lightly, the smile still on his face. 

My own smile wavered. 

“You know, it’s probably time that I get ready anyways. I’ll still see you at school, okay?” I reassured. 

The smile fell, and understanding filled his eyes.

“Of course. I’ll see you then.” He spoke softly. He pressed his marble lips lightly to my own, and before I could even register my own butterflies that came soon after, he was gone. I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding. 

I got up and began to get ready for school. I lumbered down the stairs, and drank some orange juice, not feeling enough in the mood for food. While I was standing in the kitchen, I looked out my window and saw that it was beginning to rain lightly, and that the clouds were turning an angry gray. I was suddenly reminded of the day that Jacob saved me from the angry ocean, from Victoria. I felt a lump in my throat as I thought of his face when I left for Volterra. It was one of agony, betrayal. I had called him two days after I returned, breaking down to my friend and begging him to understand. What was shocking to me, was that he did. He did understand why I did what I did. He didn’t agree with it, not by a long shot. Edwards’s name was enough to set him on edge, but he didn’t blame me for what I felt I needed to do. 

_“It’s all right Bells,”_ his gruff voice had soothed.  _ “ I can’t have you thinking I hate you. I’m never going to hate you, you’re my best friend, and you’ll  _ always  _ be my best friend. Even if you hang around the bloodsuckers.”  _ He had chucked after that, a bit darkly. I had asked him if Sam would be angry at him, to which he replied, 

_“Sam has his own shit to figure out, with the redhead and everything. That’s our priority. The other bloodsuckers, as much is I don’t care to admit it, haven’t done anything worth our attention yet. Not that I wouldn’t rip off Edwards head for what he did to you-“_ I had cut him off after that. And I surprised myself by not being angry or defensive, just tired. 

I finished my orange juice and headed up the stairs, one heavy step at a time. Before I entered the shower, I looked at myself in the mirror. I was thinner than I remembered. My cheekbones and chin were more prominent than before, and there were deep circles under my eyes. The look of bone deep exhaustion had never been clearer on anyone’s face. With a shake of my head, I entered my shower. I let the steam of the water cascade around me, filling my being with a sense of relaxation that I desperately needed. The ache in my body and mind was briefly soothed, and I stood there for what felt like hours. It didn’t last forever however, and I couldn’t stall any longer. Just before the water ran cool, I shut off the shower and climbed out. I pulled on large blue sweater and a pair of jeans, covering my chilled body with the large garments. I harshly yanked a brush through my hair, wincing at my own roughness. 

Just after brushing my teeth, I looked into the mirror again, and did something I had never done before. I attempted to smile at my reflection. It looked false, fabricated. It didn’t reach my eyes. I looked away, disheartened.

As I was exiting my front door, I heard a honk that startled me. I turned around to see Carlisle‘s car, with the window rolled down on the passenger's side. A lovely voice like wind chimes chastised me playfully from the driver's seat.

“Isabella Swan, you will get in this car this minute! I didn’t drive all the way to Port Angeles this morning to get you a pastry for you to not eat it before school!” 

Alice Cullen, in a long sleeved, forest green dress, as well as an embroidered floral headband, beckoned me with her impish smile and her fierce golden eyes. Of course she had seen the orange juice, and  _ only  _ the orange juice. 

“Can’t get anything past you, can I?” I asked, climbing into the passenger seat of the car while she placed the pastry gently in my lap. 

“No. And you shouldn’t try.” she said in a light tone, a smile decorating her petite face. I rolled my eyes, and my attention turned to the pastry. It was warm, and it smelled heavily of sugar and blueberries. Against the will of my stubborn stomach, I took large mouthfuls of the pastry until I was left with nothing but the paper bag it had been in. My head felt clearer, and my breath came easier. I looked sheepishly at Alice, and she looked remarkably smug. 

“Breakfast  _ is  _ the most important meal of the day.” she spoke playfully, vindicated. I blushed a deep red, throwing the bag at her face. She caught it before it was released from my hand, chuckling. 

“Thanks, Alice.” I said, feeling a genuine smile prick up the corners of my mouth.

She looked extremely happy, flashing her brilliant white teeth in a smile. She placed her tiny cold hand gently into my own and gave it a brief squeeze. 

“You are very welcome.” she replied, her eyes now on the school we were nearing. Something seemed to be clouding her vision, but before I could think twice about it, her face had returned to its beautiful state of normalcy. I looked up to see Forks High School, and Edward leaning gently against his Volvo at the back of the parking lot, waiting for us no doubt. 

There was a feeling of immense relief at the sight of his face. But there was dread as well. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are braver in the light of day, but it doesn’t mean the fear isn’t still there lingering in the dark.

Alice gently nudged me, knocking a breath into my lungs that I desperately needed. I threw a grateful glance her way. She ruffled my hair affectionately, a glint of mischief suddenly in her sparkling eyes. I stared back, puzzled.

“Come on. Let’s go.” She said, bounding out of the car with her abnormal amount of grace. I fumbled with my seatbelt, and set off awkwardly after her. 

The endless depths of gold that were his eyes took my breath away, as they always did. His long lashes were dark and beautiful, almost feminine in their allure. Edward held my gaze as though it were the most fragile and precious thing in his world, which, according to him, it was. A smile found its way to my face as Alice and I walked towards him, approaching the shiny Volvo with a growing feeling of euphoria. 

“Hi,” I breathed, my smile having not yet faded.

“Hello,” he spoke, returning my grin with a brilliant smile. The uncertainty I had seen in his eyes this morning had all but vanished in the faded grey light of the new day. The day had a similar effect on me, and I found myself grabbing his face and pulling him in for a fierce, and somewhat uncoordinated kiss. He froze briefly, surprised at my sudden public display of affection, before returning it wholeheartedly. With a deep breath, I inhaled the scent of his skin, something my memory never got quite right. It was the perfect blend of an elusive floral fragrance and musk, the perfect balance of sweetness and spice. It was something I would never get used to, and something I never wanted to let go of again. My reverie was interrupted by the loud honk of a jeep, and Emmett's boisterous laughter. 

“Get a room you sluts!” he shouted, still shaking with laughter. I returned the laughter, unable to be angry with the boyish man who had become somewhat of an older brother to me. Though, my face was now surely flushed a tomato red. Edward growled low in his throat.

“Jasper could have driven himself.” he spoke through gritted teeth. 

“Ah, but where’s the fun in that?” Emmett asked, his dimples standing out against his marble cheeks. 

Unbeknownst to me, Jasper had hopped out of the passenger seat, and was walking to Alice's side, pressing a firm kiss to her cheek. His normally composed and neutral expression melted into something soft and adoring when he looked at her. She smiled at him, and I could tell that her future with Jasper was never something she had to watch for, because there was no doubt in her mind. They were meant for each other. My heart clenched.

“See?  _ Much  _ more school appropriate.” Emmett jeered, gesturing to Alice and Jasper. “Now that is a good Christian display-”

“Goodbye Em.” Edward cut him off, his mouth set in a firm line, pulling me along towards the school’s entrance. Emmett drove away, blasting very loud rap music from his stereo, drawing the gazes of the other kids making their way to the main building. A fight would transpire after school, no doubt. I hoped Esme hadn’t grown too attached to the back porch she’d just rebuilt. 

When we had reached the school, Angela Weber was the first to greet me at the entrance; we had a history project due first period. 

“Hi Bella!” she said smiling, pulling me in for a hesitant hug. I returned it awkwardly, touched by the gesture. Her dark hair was pulled back today into a messy ponytail, and her pink rimmed glasses sat delicately on her nose. Her face was flushed from the chill, adding some rosiness to her olive toned skin. 

“Oh!” she gasped lightly, seeing the Cullens come in from behind me. She composed herself quickly, “Hi guys! Mind if I steal Bella for a bit?” 

Alice and Edward laughed, and Jasper’s slight smile told me that Angela was learning to put herself at ease around the Cullens, and it didn’t fall on his shoulders to calm down the human. A soft burst of pride erupted in my chest for my friend. 

“Not at all.” Edward responded with a smile, all the while smoothing down some of my fly away hairs.

“Angela, would you care to join Bella and I for lunch today?” Alice asked, her arm wrapped around Jasper. 

Angela looked bemused to say the least.

“Really?” 

“Of course! The boys are leaving early today anyway, and I’d love some girl time.” Alice said, smiling at the still shocked Angela. 

I looked at Edward, puzzled. He indicated with a quick look at Jasper, and I saw that Jasper‘s eyes were a thin ring of gold that were nearly swallowed up by black pools. I understood almost instantly. 

“Yeah Ang, it’ll be fun.” I said, trying to give a supportive nudge. But instead, I essentially elbowed her in her side. My face flushed in embarrassment. “Sorry.”

“No problem.” she laughed. If she had been Jessica, the entire school would have known of my ‘clumsy turned violent tendencies’ by third period. That wasn’t Angela. 

“My mom made extra tamales last night, glad I brought them today!” she said softly, nearly glowing. 

“Then it’s settled!” Alice said, giving Jasper a quick peck. “Get to class all of you! If you don’t leave now you’ll be late!” I knew better than to question Alice on this. 

With a swift kiss on my forehead and a squeeze of my hand, Edward took off in the other direction. It left my heart feeling warm and content, at least for now. 

“Ready to educate the class on the fact that Christopher Columbus was a complete and utter asshat?” Angela asked, arching her brow for dramatic effect. I made an effort to keep my face completely neutral, and replied in a deadpan voice,

“I was born ready.” 

This set us off into a burst of hysterical laughter. It felt good to laugh. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Here’s to the ladies who lunch.”-Company

The presentation went as planned, and the reactions spanned from Mike Newton’s confused disbelief coloring his boyish face, to Ben Cheney’s large grin and thumbs up aimed at his girlfriend and I. Miss Hardwicke, the young and eccentric history teacher, gave us a standing ovation whist Angela and I tried desperately not to burst into laughter. After the bell rang, Mike caught up with us in the hallway.

“So, he really did all that colonizing stuff?” he asked sheepishly, scrubbing his hand on the back of his neck. 

“Yeah Mike, he did.“ I replied, tucking my arm in the crook of Angela’s elbow, with the intent of steering her towards the cafeteria.

“Man that sucks, he was like my hero growing up. I even played him in the elementary school play, remember Ang?” He said, sounding genuinely put out.

“Yeah Mike. You were an artist on the stage.” Angela said, in a way that was meant to sound admiring. I bit my lip to stave off my giggle. 

Before Mike could reply, Ben approached us and hooked his hand through Angela’s open arm. He leaned up, peppering small kisses on her delicate cheekbone before he turned his smile to me.

“Hey Bella! Where are we escorting our girlfriend?” Ben asked, all dimples and mischief. I played along.

“To the cafeteria. Don’t worry, she’ll be yours again by Spanish.” 

“Perfect! You know, I was cautious about becoming a throuple at first, but you are the perfect addition to our little romance.”

Angela was silently laughing, and blushing an almost violent pink. As we walked away, I heard Mike utter a confused  _ “Throuple?”  _ before his voice faded down the hallway. Ben let out a boisterous laugh before he threw a glance behind him and spoke.

“My poor, poor Mikey. He just doesn’t get the kids these days.” 

I laughed at that, and then felt my stomach grumble unpleasantly. Angela must have noticed my expression, so she tactfully suggested that we get to lunch sooner than later. Ben got us to our table before pulling Angela down for a quick kiss. 

“Good luck on your essay!” Angela said breathlessly, but not without enthusiasm. Ben’s eyebrows perked up.

“Oh! Almost forgot! Do either of you have a-“

“Pen?” a lovely voice finished. We whipped around to see Alice sitting on the table, black pen twirling delicately in her hand. Ben looked momentarily shocked, but soon sighed in relief. He took the pen and paused oh so briefly.

“How did you?-“

“I had him last period.” Alice quipped back easily enough, silencing his suspicions. 

“Thanks Alice, you’re always on top of your stuff!” He waved, heading out, “Bye guys!” 

Alice threw me an amused look before taking a seat at our table. Angela sat down, pulling out a lunch bag with neatly packed tupperware within it. Her brown eyes flickered to mine, observant. 

“You didn’t pack a lunch, did you?“ Angela asked, not unkindly. I shrugged uncomfortably. 

“I forgot.” I admitted, not letting on that it was a purposeful lapse of judgement. The corners of her mouth went down. 

“ I didn’t,“ Alice jumped in, pulling out an ajar black lunch bag that appeared to contain a salad with chicken. 

“I had an inkling that you might have forgotten it, you staying up so late and all.” At this Angela looked at me, a small smile on her lips.

“Up with Edward?“ she asked, teasing sweetly. My gut tightened unexpectedly. I cleared my throat.

“Um, no actually. I was talking to my mom.” I mumbled. She’d made me promise to call her at least twice a week. She felt guilty for not being as present when I had been so…distant. She talked about Phil, mostly, and how much progress she had made in her yoga class. It was mostly surface conversations, but it was comforting, in a way. It made me happy to know that she was happy. 

Angela smiled at this, backing off politely. Alice took this opportunity to pout her perfect lip, and to look at me with her wide eyes, upset. 

“Speaking of moms, Esme misses you terribly.” Alice said, as if her heart had been shattered. I narrowed my eyes, suspicious.

“I saw her four days ago, why would she miss me so badly?” I asked, taking the bait. 

Alice’s expression shifted into one of excitement. 

“She’s been working on her new chicken parmesan recipe, and she wanted you to try it. You’ll come over tonight, right?” she said, her enthusiasm heartbreaking and impossible to refuse. I looked to the side to see that Angela’s fork had paused halfway to her mouth, her expression transfixed, and showing compassion for Alice. 

“I don’t want to overwhelm you all.” I said, now picking at my salad. Of course, it was foolish of me to refuse Alice.

“That’s silly! The boys are all going camping this weekend, it will just be the girls at home. Please?” She pled, batting her eyelashes in mock innocence. I smiled.

“Fine.” 

Alice squealed in delight, and I saw several people turn their heads, perhaps expecting to see some kind of fairy queen or angel. I rolled my eyes. She popped out of her seat gracefully, and leant down to give me a kiss on the cheek, quickly giving Angela one as well. Angela‘s eyes quickly became dazed, her cheeks blooming with her signature rosieness. 

“Thank you for the lunch ladies, but I have to be heading out. I promised Coach Clap I would set up the volleyball nets before class.” She gave a delicate wave before walking away, perhaps a bit too quickly. Angela turned to me, her expression still awestruck. 

“She’s, she’s very...” she didn’t finish. 

I patted her softly on the back, amused. I too knew how it felt to be dazzled to the point of incomprehension. 

His golden eyes appeared in my mind at that moment. A pang of longing entered my heart, along with another thought; when would the hole in my chest find itself empty again? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took a while to post! I’m moving quite soon so I’ve been busy, I’m excited to write more, thank you for all the nice comments! (also completely love and respect those in polyamorous relationships, we’re just poking fun at our boy Mike Newton :P) <3


	4. Chapter 4

_ “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”  _ **_― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey_ **

Alice ushered me into Carlisle‘s car soon after school ended; there was no way I was getting out of,  _ ‘a bonding night with the ladies’  _ as Alice elegantly put it. An overnight bag was stuffed at my feet, which Alice must’ve packed at some point during the day. 

“My truck?“ I questioned, an eyebrow raised.

“Taken care of.“ Alice said with a dismissive wave of the hand. “Emmett drove it back to your place during lunch.“

My hand flew to the pocket of my coat, where the familiar jingle of my keys usually greeted me – I found it empty. Another thought hit me.

“Emmett?” I groaned, filled with something akin to dread. “He’ll destroy it trying to pop a wheelie on the freeway. He’s chaos embodied in a human-“ I caught my mistake a second too late. Alice burst into a peal of delighted laughter. 

“I'd say I didn’t know that one was coming, but I’d be lying.” She grinned, her good mood infectious despite my reservations. 

We arrived at the Cullen’s home, brightly lit and gleaming from the lights that were lit inside. Alice parked in the spacious garage, right next to Rosalie’s BMW. I got out of my side, careful not to trip over my own feet. Alice was three steps ahead of me, as usual, hauling my overnight bag over her petite shoulder. With her free hand, she tugged me gently through the doorway that led to the spacious kitchen. I was immediately greeted with the heavenly scent of tomatoes and chicken; Alice hadn’t been lying, Esme had been practicing. 

“Bella!” Esme greeted in a melodious voice. She pulled me in for a hug, and I was instantly drowning in waves of sweet smelling, caramel colored hair. “It’s so good to see you!” 

I smiled at her happily. 

“Esme, you didn’t have to do this-”

“Nonsense!” She quickly interrupted me. After giving me a quick peck on the cheek, she turned around to resume tending to the spaghetti. She spoke softly while she stirred.

“When I was young, my mother loved to cook, and I would always help her if I could. I haven’t been able to indulge in this particular passtime in quite a while. It’s a joy, truely.” 

Esme’s unconditional and limitless tenderness never failed to warm my heart. I felt my cheeks flush a deep red. I immediately cringed at the thought of causing Esme any discomfort with the blood that filled my face. She caught on to my worry, and laughed delicately. 

“No worries, love.” She said, tucking a stray piece of my hair behind my ear.

“Your blush is far lovelier than any rouge, be proud.” 

I chuckled, an awkward and strained sound. Alice took this moment to rescue me, deciding that I was smothered enough by motherly affection for the time being. Her arm encircled my waist, and she pulled me to the large couch that was settled in front of the flatscreen. 

“What do we want to watch tonight?” Alice questioned, perched at the edge of the couch. 

“We have a english assignment due Alice-” I tried.

“Next week,” Alice exclaimed, pouting. “And you will finish it…” 

She checked the future, only for a moment, before breaking into a triumphant smile. 

“Sunday!” She finished gleefully. I groaned before asking.

“What are my choices?” I sounded defeated. 

It turned out, enough choices to fill a chain video store. Hundreds of films and TV shows were stored underneath a tasteful mahogany. After careful deliberation, we picked  _ Roman Holiday _ , a favorite of Alice’s.

The opening scenes flitted by, and I saw how the old Hollywood style was favorable to Alice. Audrey Hepburn, the star, was striking and elegant. High waisted skirts and lovely blouses accented her small frame. I suddenly had an image of Alice in the very garb that was worn by her, riding a vespa in 1950’s Italy, with a brightly colored head scarf wrapped around her. Only, I didn’t want Alice anywhere near Italy, due to the imminent threat of the Volturi. I shivered. Alice misunderstood, and she bound up quickly.

“I’m going to get you a blanket--don’t run off.” Before I could protest, she was out of the room. I sighed, and tried to pay attention to the movie. 

Something golden caught the corner of my eye, and to my great surprise, I saw Rosalie in the doorway. Her loveliness never failed to punch the breath out of my lungs. A simple white frock adorned her figure, which was leaning hesitantly against the door jam. Her hair hung down in careless golden waves that reminded me vividly of “The Birth of Venus” by Botticelli. It didn’t escape my notice that she didn’t look at me. After the incident in Italy, Rosalie had been noticeably less hostile towards me, which mostly resulted in polite avoidance on her part. It was genuine curiosity that prompted me to ask,

“Do you like this one?” 

Her eyes flickered briefly to mine, and then back to the screen. It took a moment before she responded, in a low, and somewhat detached, lovely voice. 

“It’s not terrible. Gregory Peck, however, makes it tolerable.” 

I cracked a hesitant smile. I spoke quietly, as to not break this odd, unfamiliar peace between us.

“He’s rather handsome, for a mortal.” I said, my eyes flitting to my fidgeting hands, before meeting hers again. A half smile played on her full lips. 

“Handsome, but entirely too put together. I prefer my men to be eccentric and unpredictable.” 

A giggle burst from my lips at that, and to my shocked surprise, her laugh joined mine. I wanted to continue this conversation, but Rosalie stopped suddenly, eyes flitting to the kitchen entryway. I followed her gaze to see Esme, carrying a plate of chicken parmesan, with a hopeful smile in her eyes. When I turned to see Rosalie’s reaction, she had gone. 

The plate in Esme’s hand found its way into my lap, and a gentle kiss was dropped onto my hair. That kiss conveyed to me what she needn't say aloud. 

_ 'I love you as one of my own. It will all turn out alright.’  _

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. Before I could delve too deeply into that particular thought process, Alice had returned, and put a pleasantly warm blanket over my legs. 

“And where have you been?” I asked curiously. She smiled at me softy, genuinely pleased by something. 

“Well, it wouldn’t have been a girls night if I had only let you talk to me, right?” 

I rolled my eyes, but gave Alice’s hand a quick squeeze in thanks. It was relaxing, the movie, the food, and my company, both new and familiar. I was breathing easier with each passing day. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I have not written in a long while, I've been at school and workin my booty off! Hope to give you all more soon! <3

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Depression, disordered eating.  
> (I deal with all of the above, and research extensively, no harm intended!)  
> Things will get better for our girl Bella, fear not! Keep it classy and kind! :)


End file.
